Why me?
by Scorpion24
Summary: Set about a week after Lucas kidnapped Ruth but with the understanding that Harry stayed at work and did not get suspended. Three conversations between our two favourite spooks. Mostly light hearted and I promise a fluffy ending!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again! Hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year! This is a small three-parter that wouldn't leave me alone. However, once I started writing it seemed to digress into rather rambling ways so please bare with **

**Chapter One**

"Why me, Harry?"

"What?"

"Why- out of all the women you could have- all of the women you_ have_ had- why me?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's just after last week, I can't stop thinking… wondering why… I mean… Oh just forget it! I shouldn't have said anything."

"Wait. You want to know why I love you? That's it isn't it."

"I can't work it out Harry. I've tried so hard, believe me! I thought, maybe it was because, we've never… you know… and that it's the unknown that, well, erm… excites you or something. I mean, there can't be many women who have ever said no to you…I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I know I said no when you… that day in he church yard…"

"And when I asked you for a second date."

"Pardon?"

"When I asked you out again. We were stood right here and you said no."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No, Harry. You never asked me on a second date. I turned you down before you could which technically isn't me saying no."

"Like you said, a technicality Ruth."

"And stop saying my name like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you just did?"

"Ruth?"

"Yes. Stop it."

"Stop what, Ruth? You don't like the way I say your name?"

"No… Yes… well… anyway- stop changing the subject!"

"I would Ruth, if I had the slightest clue as to what the subject matter of this conversation actually is!"

"I have cats Harry."

"Now who's changing the subject?"

"I eat pot noodles for my lunch because I hate cooking."

"And your point is…"

"I'm clumsy, I worry what people think, I can't cry at funerals, I read books that most people think are ridiculous wastes of time, I can't wear high heels because I look like I'm attempting to work a tight rope and … and… I can't hear you say my bloody name without thinking… well… rather inappropriate thoughts!"

"Inappropriate?"

"Yes!"

"How so?"

"Vividly so!"

"Have you quite finished?"

"Yes. No. I just don't understand it! You're the head of Section D, a respected spy and agent. A man who has had and could still have his pick of anyone of the glamorous women who flock about you on a flaming daily basis! What the hell could you see in me? Why do you love me? Why? Or… I mean… I wonder do you even love me at all. I suppose it…"

"Ruth!"

"No, Harry. I've come this far, said this much so let me finish! Please! It… it scares me Harry that if we… you know… ever do finally…"

"Have sex?"

"Yes. Then, afterwards, maybe you'll realise that I was just… oh I don't know- an itch maybe, that you needed to scratch. That actually you didn't love me, you just needed to attain the unattainable."

"How can you say that?"

"I don't blame you, Harry. I do believe that you believe you love me, but… I… I just don't think I can live up to the woman you need. The woman you deserve!"

"Ruth…I… I don't know what to say. I…No. Wait! Where are you going?"

"I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry Harry…

"Don't go… Please!"

"I need to… I'll see you Monday."

**Hope you enjoyed. Sorry if a bit rusty but blowing the writing cobwebs off for the New Year **** Please leave a review and let me know what you thought or any suggestions. Chapter Two nearly written and have an idea for chapter three so should be too long in updating (providing people want to read more…)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! Thanks for all your support and reviews **** Glad your enjoying it. This is just a small update…**

**Chapter Two**

"Hello?"

"Hi. It's me. Harry"

"I guessed as much. No other bugger wakes me up with phone calls at ridiculous times of the morning!"

"I'm sorry."

"Look, I'll be on the Grid in…"

"No. No there's no need."

"Pardon?"

"There's no need, Ruth. There's no national emergency. No crisis."

"Harry. I know I'm half asleep but are you saying this isn't a red flash? I mean, why else would you be calling me in the middle of the night?"

"What, even after our conversation earlier your analytical brain can't think of any other reason that I might be calling you?"

"No, Harry. No it can't. Not when you said you had nothing to say on the matter."

"What? When?"

"Before, in the office. After my… well after I said what I said, you said you didn't have anything to say."

"No Ruth. I said I didn't know what to say. Quite a difference wouldn't you say?"

"I'd rather call it a technicality."

"This is nice."

"What?"

"This. Us. Talking, debating, whatever you want to call it."

"Harry, it's four o'clock in the flaming morning! And while we're on the matter, why did you call me at this imprudent hour?"

"Well, I tried your bell but you didn't answer the door."

"You tried my what? Harry? Where the hell are you?"

"Erm… I might be on your door step."

"You might be on my…Oh for goodness sake! You bloody… man! Just… Oh- wait there! I'll be down in a minute."

**Nearly finished chapter three but trying to decide whether to split it or if people would forgive a slightly longer offering… Let me know your thoughts **


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow! Thank you lovely people for your lovely reviews! Sorry for the delay- been mental busy at work this week, but Chapter four is written, just tweaking it, but should be up soon **** Hope you enjoy…**

**Chapter Three**

"Hi. Can I come in?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I brought you these."

"Flowers at four o'clock in the morning. Erm… I don't know what to say."

"Really?"

"Don't raise that eyebrow at me, Harry Pearce! I'm really not in the mood."

"Sorry."

"Is there any other reason you're here on my door step?"

"Yes. I came to talk to you."

"Well, I suppose you had better come in then."

"Thanks. I came to explain… in the office… well your little outburst took me quite off guard."

"Off guard? Harry Pearce?"

"Yes, well. You see what effect you have on me Ruth."

"Tea?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Tea. Would you like a cup of tea? I've got a feeling I'm going to need the caffeine!"

"Yes. Tea would be good thanks. It might warm me up."

"How long have you been here? Outside my house I mean?"

"Not long."

"How long?"

"A while."

"Harry?"

"Since about one."

"One! One o'clock! Harry- three hours! You'll be frozen! What were you…What are you smirking at?"

"Just adding your ability to make me crack under interrogation to the list."

"And what list might that be?"

"My reason for being here."

"Harry. Can we just… can we just stop. I can't do this. Not now. I know I'm renown for deciphering different languages and conversations in codes on the Grid, but at this time of the morning when I'm stood bare foot in my kitchen, please just tell me, in plain English, what you have come here to say."

"I've come to tell you that you are the most infuriating woman I have ever met. I have come to tell you that, yes, you were right- for a change- and that, yes, it did throw me off keel when you said no to me. I've come to tell you that the fact you are unable to see how bloody brilliant you are renders me speechless, hence being unable to continue our conversation earlier and… well… the fact that you have just burnt your flaming hand on the kettle because you were too busy fussing makes me so mad that I don't know whether to despair with you or… or… here. Run it under here."

"That was quite a speech."

"We've never had a way with words, have we? Not with each other."

"It's not been our strongest point. No."

"Bloody hell! Was that you actually agreeing with me Miss Evershed? What is this a belated Christmas miracle?"

"Don't push me Harry."

"Does it hurt- your hand?"

"I, well…"

"Here. Let me take a closer look."

"Harry…the tap."

"Hmm?"

"The tap… I need to erm…"

"Right. Yes."

"I just… I didn't want the bowl to over flow."

"Of course. You know you really should put some cream on…"

"Digression Harry. My hand is fine. Here, pass me those and I'll put them in water while you tell me why you are here."

"Right. Sorry. As I was saying, I know we're not good with words so that's why I brought the flowers."

"You brought flowers to explain why and if you love me?"

"Yes."

"Oh. I see."

"You do?"

"Well, not really… No."

"Listen- please hear me out. I've been trying to think of the words to convince you of how much I do- and I truly do- love you, but I didn't know where to start. So, instead, I've decided to address that ridiculous list you reeled off in the office today."

"Please Harry- don't start on about bloody lists again. My head is…"

"Ruth. Please. Count them."

"Hmm?"

"The flowers. Count them."

"Harry!"

"Ruth."

"Fine. One…"

"Your first reason for being unlovable was you had cats. After years of looking after you cats Ruth, how could I not love you for them. I love that you named them the most, well, least classical names imaginable. I love that everyday you were away I felt that I still had a part of you with me always."

"Harry… Fine. Two…"

"Your dinner choice. I love the fact that you eat pot noodles for your dinner because it means that you can eat it at your desk when we are busy which means I can still… Well, I know your there. I love how the powder sometimes clouds on the material of your scarf, giving me an excuse to brush my fingers gently against it. To remove it of course before you look at me like that!"

"Of course. Three…"

"Your, well…From the day you tripped into the meeting room, it has never failed to baffle me that someone so astute can be so…so…"

"Clumsy?"

"No not clumsy."

"There really is no other word for it Harry."

"Fine. But it means that when you do things like burn your hand making tea I have a reason to hold your hand, to care for you, to help you. It means that I have a reason to lean across the table and maybe take you hand in mine, like this. To make sure it's all okay, of course. Is it… okay I mean?"

"That you're holding my hand?"

"No… Yes… Well is your hand okay from the burn and may I please use this excuse to hold it?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"Number four on your list."

"Right. Four. I know it concerns you what other people say, and while if I had had my way I would shout our love from the roof tops, I find it refreshing, particularly in our line of work, to find someone as principled as you. Someone who has managed to maintain such a strong sense of self worth and self value."

"Harry. I get what you're doing, and I'm touched, I really am but…"

"No Ruth. No. You are not running from me this time. I've given this a lot of though today and I've realised that while there are countless reasons I love you, they are irrelevant if I allow you to keep running. If I allow you to keep me at arms length."

"That's why you're here, isn't it. So I can't run."

"Ruth. I won't force this on you. If you want me to leave I will…"

**Hope this is okay and in keeping with the story. Please RnR… Last part to follow soon **


	4. Chapter 4

**So here it is- last part. Carrying straight on… **

**Chapter Four**

"No. Please, don't. I don't want to run Harry. I don't want to push you away. I just… I've never met anyone who has acknowledged my weaknesses and yet, well, I don't know…"

"Loved you all the more for them?"

"Yes. Do you want to know why all of this… stuff has come out now? Why I brought this up today?"

"It was Bateman wasn't it?"

"How did you…"

"I can read you like a book Ruth. Ever since Lucas, or John, or… well in the last week, you've been removed. You've been thinking something over in that brilliant head of yours. I can see it in your eyes."

"You can?"

"Yes."

"Right. Well, when he took me, I told him… I told him that you had… well, about what you asked me in the graveyard… and… he told me I was wrong to say no. He told me to be selfish. To take what I want."

"And what do you want Ruth?"

"Well… that's just it…I knew what I wanted I just didn't know what you wanted? I just needed to… check."

"Well then, you'd better ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"Ask me what I want."

"What do you want Harry?"

"I want you. I want to hold your hand in mine. I want to run my fingers through your hair. I want to hold you close at night. I want to love you. I want to make love to you. I want to live with you. I want to marry you. I want… God! I want you, Ruth Evershed."

"Is that it?"

"Is that..? You want… something else?"

"Yes, Harry. I want something else. I…Where are you going?"

"You just said…"

"I want you to kiss me Harry."

"I'm sorry?"

"I want you to kiss me. Here. Now."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Oh, God. Ruth. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that again."

"Oh, believe me Harry. I do."

"Can I… can I do it again?"

"Harry. You don't have to ask."

"I should go… I don't want to seem… well, presumptuous"

"But you can't go yet!"

"And why might that be?"

"I haven't finished counting!"

"Hmm?"

"The flowers… I haven't finished counting them."

"Really? You want me to go through all the flowers now?"

"No. Not all of them. But the last flower… well that one I am interested in."

"Ahh! Why, Miss Evershed, I do believe you are blushing."

"Stop changing the subject, Harry. Eight. Flower number eight… what was your response to that?"

"Eight… Well… That was a bit of a problem. I mean, your omission to, how was it you put it, having inappropriate thoughts about me… well Ruth, that was nearly a deal breaker."

"Hmm… I seem to remember clarifying that they were vividly inappropriate."

"Is that so? Well, in that case, you had better show me how those vividly inappropriate thoughts play out in that beautiful imagination of yours."

"Hmm… So that's why you love me? It's all about the sex, isn't it?"

"Well, let's see… We've got about, oh! Another two days until we need to be back at work. How about I let you know then?"

"Two days! Why Sir Harry- I do believe that is something I will have to add to an ever growing list about you."

"I love you Ruth Evershed."

"And I love you, Harry Pearce."

**Okay… so it got a bit sickly sweet at the end- but hey! There's just not enough fluff in the world of Spooks so I'm over compensating **** Hope you've enjoyed this story. Hopefully inspiration will strike again soon! Thank again to all of you wonderful readers and reviewers who make writing all that bit more worthwhile **


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